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- How to identify the driver's home Complete with the stereotypes that made this country great.
- If Microsoft Built Cars Mostly of value to computer geeks. Or computer geek wanna-bes.
- Bumper Sticker Collection Almost as useless as a game of Trivia Persuit.
- An email exchange I had with a former co-worker who thought my car hobby was a little bit crazy.
- We all know that FIAT = "Fix It Again Tony" or FORD = "Found On Road Dead", but we bet you don't know at least some of these car acronyms.
- A Lame Car Joke. You be the judge.
- You are what you drive. A great collection of automobile stereotypes.
- "I pay your salary!" and other things NOT to say to a cop if you get pulled over. Another public service from your friends at WebCars!
- Are you a racer? Otherwise entitled "The truth hurts"
- Oil Changing instructions.
- What's worse than . . .
The truth about car ads
| If The Ad Reads . . . | It Really Means |
| Rough condition: | Too bad to lie about |
| Parts car: | Beyond repair |
| Clean: | Homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows |
| Immaculate: | Recently washed |
| Concours: | Recently waxed |
| Good transportation: | It's ugly |
| Engine quiet: | Uses 90-weight oil |
| Needs minor overhaul: | Needs engine |
| Needs major overhaul: | Phone the junkyard |
| Burns no oil: | It all leaks out |
| Rebuilt engine: | Cleaned the spark plugs |
| Engine blueprinted: | I don't know what it means either |
| Excellent gas mileage: | It's slow |
| Low miles: | The odometer was turned back |
| One owner: | Can't give it away |
| Sure to appreciate: | That's why I'm selling it |
| Drive it away: | I live on a hill |
| Drive it anywhere: | Within 10 miles |
| Desirable classic: | No one wants it |
| Rare classic: | No one wanted it even when it was new. |
| Stored 20 years: | In a lake |
| Ran when stored: | Won't start |
| Never apart: | Bolts too rounded to loosen |
| Solid as a rock: | Rusted solid |
| . . .or best offer: | I'm guessing here |
| Restored, with 0 miles: | Won't start |
| Faster than a 'vette: | A Chevette |
| Restored, with 2 miles: | Won't stay running |
| Older restoration: | First owner washed it |
| Good investment: | Can't be worth much less |
| No time to restore it: | Can't obtain parts |
| 90% complete: | You do the other 90% |
| 95% complete: | Other 5% doesn't exist |
| One owner: | Hertz |
| Great enthusiasts car: | I'm looking for a sucker |
| Good tires: | And that's all |
| House forces sale: | Neighbors complaining |
| Trades considered: | I'm desperate |
| Other interests conflict: |
Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that
#!!@&## thing goes or I go!" |
Comments? Know of one we missed? Let us know! |
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