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We all get 'em. Email jokes and various articles find their way around the internet like wildfire. The following car related articles are from the WebCars! files.


Car Acronyms


(Our favorites are in blue)


ACURA:
  • Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
  • Asia's Curse Upon Rural America


AMC:
  • All Makes Combined
  • A Major Cost
  • A Mutated Car
  • A Morons Car
  • Another Major Catastrophe
  • A Man's Car
  • A Miss Conception
  • All Muscle Car
  • All Most Car
  • Annoying Mechanics Constantly
  • Automotive Mental Cruelty


AUDI:
  • Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
  • Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
  • Automobile Under Demonic Influence
  • Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
  • Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
  • Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
  • All Unnecessary Devices Installed


BMW:
  • Big Money Works
  • Bought My Wife
  • Brutal Money Waster
  • Break My Window
  • Break My Windshield
  • Babbling Mechanical Wench
  • Beastly Monstrous Wonder
  • Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
  • Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
  • Barely Moving Wreck
  • Big Money Waste
  • Big Money. Why?
  • Big Money Works
  • Born Moderately Wealthy
  • Breaks Most Wrenches
  • Bring Many Wrenches
  • Brings Me Women
  • Brings More Women
  • Broken Money Waster
  • Broke My Wallet
  • Broken Monstrous Wonder
  • Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
  • Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
  • Bavarian Manure Wagon


BUICK:
  • Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
  • Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King


Camaro:
  • Can A Mechanic Actually Repair One??
  • Can't America Make A Real One?
  • Chevrolet Assembled Mustang And Repaired Often
  • Could Always Manufacture And Recall Often


CHEVROLET:
  • Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
  • Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
  • Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
  • Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
  • Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology


DODGE:
  • Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
  • Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
  • Dead Old Dog Going East
  • Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
  • Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
  • Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
  • Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
  • Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
  • Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive


EDSEL:
  • Every Day Something Else Leaks
  • Every Day Some Engineer Laughs


  • FIAT:
    • Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
    • Fix It Again, Tony
    • Fix It All the Time
    • Found In A Toilet
    • Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

    FORD:
    • Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
    • Fix Or Repair Daily
    • Found On Road Dead
    • Fast Only Rolling Downhill
    • First On Race Day
    • First On Recall Day
    • Fabricated Of Refried Dung
    • Fails On Rainy Days
    • Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
    • Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
    • Fault Of R&D
    • Finally Obsolete Racing Device
    • Fireball On Rear Denting
    • First On Road to Dump
    • First On Rust and Deterioration
    • Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
    • Flipping Over Results in Death
    • Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
    • Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
    • Foot On Road Decelerates
    • Forced On Reluctant Drivers
    • Formed Of Rejected DNA
    • Forwarded Once; Return Denied
    • Forward Only; Reverse Defective
    • Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
    • Fork Over Repair Dough
    • Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
    • Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
    • Free Or Reduced Drastically
    • Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
    • Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
    • Funny Old Rattling Dump
    • Forget Out Running Dale (Earnhardt or Jarrett)
    • Features O.J. and Ron`s DNA
    • Found Out-Right Dangerous
    • Future Of Racings Delight
    • (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
    • (backwards) Dumb Rednecks Own Fords
      • LTD:
      • Lacks Total Dependability
      • Lots To Do
      • Looses Transmissions Daily


    GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked

    GM:
    • General Maintenance
    • Great Mistake
    • Garbage Motors
    • Generally Miserable
    • Grossly Misconceived
    • Gluteus Maximus
    • Good Money
    • Goofy's Manufacturing
    • Gone Mental


    GMC:
    • Grief & Misery Combined
    • Garage Man's Companion
    • Gotta Mechanic Coming?
    • Generally Mediocre Cars
    • Get More Chicks
    • Gets Mechanics Crazy
    • Gods Mechanical Curse
    • Got More Crap
    • Great Mountain Climber
    • Great Motor Car
    • God Made Chevy
    • Good Moron Car
    • Got Mine Cheap
    • Get My Checkbook
    • Gone Mad Corp.


    GTO:
    • Gas, Tires, Oil
    • Get Tools Out
    • Get To Onramp
    • Good To Own
    • Get The Others
    • Generally Trashed Out
    • Good Time Out
    • Gone To Overdrive


    HONDA:
    • Honest Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
    • Had One Never Did Again
    • Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
    • Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
    • Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
    • History Of No Dramatic Acceleration
    • How Odd, No Darn Acceleration?
    • PRELUDE: Pistons Rattle, Engine Locks Up, Differential Explodes


    HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

    JEEP:
    • Just Eats Every Part
    • Just Empty Every Pocket
    • Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
    • Jumps Extremely Excitedly over Potholes
    • Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts


    KIA:
    • Kick It Around
    • Kick It Again
    • Killed In Action


    LOTUS:
    Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

    MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

    MG:
    • Money Guzzler
    • Mostly Garaged
    • Major Goof
    • MGB: Might Go Backwards
    • MGB: Might Go, But . . .
    • MGB: Motor Going Bad
    • MGF: Might Go Forward


    MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate

    MOPAR
    • Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
    • Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
    • Most Often Passed At Races
    • Mostly Old Parts And Rust
    • Move Over People Are Racing
    • Move Over, Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
    • My Old Pig Ain't Running
    • My Only Problems Are Repairs
    • Mechanics Offer Pinto As Replacement
    • More Often Parts Are Replaced


    MUSTANG:
    • Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
    • Massivly Under Sized Tires And No Go
    • Maybe Under Serious Thought Another No Go
    • Maybe Under Serious Thought Another Nice GTO


    OLDSMOBILE:
    • Old Ladies Driving Slowly, Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
    • Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment


    PINTO:
    • Put In Nickel To Operate
    • Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
    • Put In New Transmission Often
    • Pushed In Neutral Too Often


    PONTIAC:
    • Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car
    • Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac


    PORSCHE:
    • Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
    • Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough


    SAAB:
    • Send Another Automobile Back
    • Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
    • Sad Attempt At Beauty
    • Sorry Auto, Always Broken
    • Shape Appears Ass-Backwards


    SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

    TOYOTA:
    • Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
    • Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
    • The One You Ought To Avoid


    TRIUMPH:
    • This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
    • Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!


    TR: Tools Required

    VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

    VW:
  • Vintage Wreck
  • Virtually Worthless



  • Comments? Know of one we missed? Let us know!

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